At 500 pounds, I hit a breaking point. This simple shift turned my life around

In 2018, I was in the worst shape of my life. I was at my highest weight of 505 pounds. I was working an office job, so I was very sedentary. I was eating lots of fast food. I was married and had wanted to start a family, but it wasn’t happening, so there was a lot of stress in my life. I’d been feeling sick for a while, but I kept telling myself, “This is what you get. This is what you get for being fat.” I was so harsh with myself. I didn’t want to go to the doctor, because I knew the doctor was just going to say, “You need to lose weight.” But finally I went, and when I saw the doctor, she said, “You need to go to the emergency room.” 

In the ICU, they ripped my clothes off and attached all these machines and cords to me. That’s when I realized that this was serious. I was in the ICU with pneumonia for five days. I remember waking up at one point and seeing my husband across the hospital room, and him saying, “I’m leaving to go to work, but I’ll be back after work.” And I just thought to myself, “Wow, this is really unfair to him. This is our future if I don’t get it together.” 

When I left the ICU, I knew something had to change. I started reading, journaling and listening to self-help podcasts. One day I decided, “I’m going to go to the gym today.” I realized I had to rewrite the story that I’d told myself—that you work out because you’re fat, that because you did this to yourself, you now have to punish yourself with extreme cardio at the gym. I realized I had to be kinder to myself, because bullying wasn’t working. 

Of course I’d gone to the gym before—when I was prepping for my Quinceañera, then for prom, then when I was trying to get fit for my wedding. But it was always a timed commitment with a deadline. This time was different. I just knew my body needed to move more. I went in this time thinking, “Let’s just start where we can start.” On that first day, I got on a machine and lasted five minutes. Then I told myself, “OK, that’s fine. Tomorrow we’ll come back and maybe you’ll do it for six minutes.” I was coaching myself in a way that I had never done before. 

I began to lose weight and feel better, but when COVID hit and the gyms closed, I gained the weight back. I lost my spark and my desire to keep going. Then, in 2021, my best friend Katie was diagnosed with brain cancer and passed away. I felt myself slip back into that depressive state—”I can’t do this; I’m just going to eat my feelings.” I remember having a conversation with myself and saying, “No, Katie is gone, but you need to keep going.” I had to coach myself once again. Her death made me realize how fragile life is. I couldn’t give up. What was my life going to look like? Was I going to live life, or was I just going to get through life? 

So I started again. I didn’t have a coach. I didn’t have a nutritionist. I’ve always been trying to figure this out on my own. I found a diet that worked for me and lost 140 pounds in 14 months. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. And I kept working out.

Today I work out five days a week—I do cardio and strength training. I feel the healthiest I’ve ever been, even though I’m not as light as I was when I was 16. I feel so much better when I move my body, and I’ve learned to view cardio as a life-giving activity, as opposed to a life-sucking activity. Weight loss isn’t my only goal; I want to be stronger because my husband and I have a landscaping business, and I want to be able to help not only on the administrative side, but with the wheelbarrow-pushing, carry-heavy-things side. And I want to run and play soccer again. I haven’t played soccer since I was 17, because I lost my ability to run.

As much as we want to call this a weight-loss journey, it’s really just life. It’s about getting to the point where you’re living life in a way that you love, a way that feels right and good. When I was in my early 20s, I wasn’t actively choosing anything. I was just going through the motions and barely making any decisions. I’ve started taking a lot of responsibility for my future. We don’t have to put all this pressure on ourselves and give ourselves expiration dates: “I’ll go to the gym every day for one year and see what happens.” As long as you’re alive, keep making choices that make you feel good. Keep making choices that move you forward. 

It’s important to recognize that the mental aspect—just like the gym, drinking water, eating good food consistently—needs to be worked on. The healing is never 100% done. I’ve always struggled with my weight. In the Hispanic community, chubby kids are often considered adorable, but then you get to this point where it stops being adorable and becomes your nickname and your identity. I remember being 12 years old, laying in my bathroom and doing sit-ups, hoping my gut would go away. I remember asking my mom to buy me meal replacement shakes when I was a teenager. When I was 16, my primary care physician suggested gastric bypass surgery. It’s always been a struggle.

My life right now isn’t perfect. I still don’t have kids. Last year I made peace with the fact that it may not happen, but I haven’t given up hope. If it’s meant to be, it will be, because I’m going to be in the best shape of my life. But, to be able to wake up and be happy that I’m alive and look forward, and have dreams and goals—that’s the part of this that would shock the younger version of myself. I think if she could see us now, she would be really proud. 

This interview has been edited and condensed. 

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